I am currently working on the sequence in the second volume of Jake and the Dynamo in which Jake assists Magical Girl Nunchuk Nun in a battle against vampire pastry chefs in the catacombs under the reconstructed Basilica of St. Peter’s in Rome-in-Exile.
I’m not sure it’s coming out the way I want, but I think this is pretty funny:
Pushing off from the armrest, Jake regained his feet and found himself facing a black-robed figure with a bone-white face. This gaunt creature’s head was a pale dome, entirely without hair, but marked on the left side, just above the ear, by a peculiar, puss-filled boil that somehow put Jake in mind of a half-formed eye. The creature’s unusually long and knobby ears ended in flaccid points. Although the rest of his skin was pale like that of a corpse, his lips were a bright red—not quite like lipstick, but more like cold sores that had spread to entirely encompass his mouth.
With a snake-like hiss, the vampire stretched out one thin, bony hand. His long fingers, tipped with yellowing, claw-like nails, grasped a huge cupcake topped with a high, swirling mound of almond-colored frosting.
He glided toward Jake almost as if he had wheels on his feet, and his pustule-like lips slid back, revealing a set of countless crooked, needle-like fangs. Although most of the windows were dark, a single panel—an image of the Christ raising two fingers in solemn blessing—glowed with a funereal blue-white light, the color of the waning moon. That light cast a sepulchral pallor over the vampire’s corpse-like face and made his wet teeth glisten.
“Our mont-blancs are on special this week,” the vampire whispered coldly. “They’re half off. Get them while supplies last.”
A sweet hint of chestnut met Jake’s nose.
His throat was dry, but he swallowed painfully. “I’m … I’m allergic to nuts, actually,” he rasped.
The vampire hissed again, and then suddenly lunged.
My writing process often involves listening to a single song over and over again. For most of the first volume, it was “You’re Mine” by Disturbed. For the vampire scenes in the second volume, I’m mostly listening to this:
