The Missing Cuteness of ‘Doom Eternal’

Featured image: “Drinks, Blood, and Vacation!” by WMDiscovery93.

(Spoilers.)

The highly anticipated Doom Eternal, which treads some of the same ground as Doom II: Hell on Earth, released today, and some mad lads have already played through the whole damn thing.

I’ve long been intrigued by Doom and have often wished for a respectable interpretation in another medium such as movie or novel, though most such attempts have been flubs. There was the series of Doom novels by Daffyd ab Hugh and Brad Linaweaver, which reinterpreted the demonic invasion as an invasion of space aliens, thereby entirely missing the point, and there was also the widely panned movie starring Dwayne Johnson, which reimagined the demons as genetic mutations.

do understand there is a novelization of Doom III, which I only learned of recently, but aside from it, interpretations of Doom into other media have shied away from the core concept of an invasion from hell—which is to say that they’ve missed the entire point.

Doom Eternal made some waves because of its promise that you might fight angels as well as demons, though the final product, if the cutscene movie posted above is any indication, suggests that the designers ultimately moved away from that idea. In place of God is some being called Khan Maykr, and in place of angels are the Maykr’s servants, who don’t do much except shoot beams of energy out of their heads. The story, too, seems sketchy, suggesting either that this cutscene movie is incomplete or that the game’s creators failed to flesh out all their ideas.

Trying to piece things together (I may have some of this wrong), it appears that Khan Maykr is doing what the UAC did in the first game, using “Argent Energy” to power her world, which would die without it. Argent Energy is created in hell from damned souls, so Khan Maykr lets demons destroy other worlds so she can preserve her own, though the demons cannot enter her own world, and she cannot enter theirs. The world of Argent D’nur formerly worshipped her as a goddess or prophetess, and she ultimately betrayed them, turning three Argentians into “hell priests” who assist her in the invasion of Earth, which is intended to gather more souls to provide her with energy.

Perhaps most interesting to longtime Doom fans, Doom Eternal makes it explicit that the “Slayer” who first appeared in Doom 2016 is in fact the same as the “Doomguy” of the original games. Somehow or other, the Sentinels of Argent found him and made him one of their own, and some continue to oppose him even after the Khan Maykr betrayed them. Doom Eternal not only refers to him as the “Doomguy,” but also uses some of his dialogue from the goofy “Doom comic.”

Perhaps most interesting, at least to me, is that Doom Eternal contains some Easter eggs referencing an obscure bit of lore from the franchise. The original Doom game ended with an image of a rabbit’s head on a stake; this image was meant to indicate that the demons had invaded Earth and therefore set up for Doom II. However, fans quickly got the idea that this was the Doomguy’s pet rabbit, and that he was slaying demons to avenge the rabbit’s death.

Rabbit head on a stake.

This got (semi?)canonical affirmation in the expansion Thy Flesh Consumed, which ended with a brief scene indicating that the dead rabbit was indeed the Doomguy’s pet, and that its name was Daisy.

There were a few small gags making reference to Daisy in Doom 2016, and she apparently appears in some gags in the new Doom Eternal as well.

Everything I’ve heard about the gameplay on this game indicates that it’s superb, but I’m not a gamer myself; I’m a story guy, and from what I’ve seen so far, I do think the story should have been fleshed out in parts. I started exploring Doom Eternal with the question, “What is the Khan Maykr?” and having sat through a cut-scene video of the game, I find I’m still asking the same question.

The game’s ending, too, seems anticlimactic to me. Although it looks like an epic boss fight, that’s pretty much it: The Slayer himself has personally gained nothing from all this hardship despite warnings and promises from other characters. It almost makes me think the Slayer should have had a love interest—but since that isn’t right for the character, it makes me think he should have had something else to to care about, maybe a pet or mascot character.

interestingly, because of a delay, Doom Eternal ended up releasing on the same day as Animal Crossing: New Horizons. This coincidence led to a lot of fan art depicting the Doomslayer with Isabelle, a fan-favorite character from Animal Crossing.

The Doomslayer carries Isabelle on his shoulder.

To me, images like this just look right, as if this is what Doom is missing. The protagonist of Doom needs something personal to fight for, perhaps something to protect or avenge. Daisy could have served this purpose, and that may be why the brief image of a rabbit so captured fans’ imaginations in the first place.

There is, I understand, a “hidden” bunny in each level of Doom Eternal, a nod to the fan-created lore, but of course that isn’t anything quite like a fully developed character.

This isn’t a serious criticism of the game, but I think the Doom reboot may have missed an opportunity by failing to make Daisy the rabbit the cute mascot sidekick of this franchise.

Update to Armageddon

As some of you are no doubt aware, I’m planning to get married, and the universe, realizing that my successfully wooing an attractive woman is as impossible and unacceptable as, say, Arthur Dent or Jon Arbuckle doing the same, has taken drastic steps to correct.

So yeah, this whole global pandemic thing is my fault. Sorry about that.

Anyway, the magical girl and I intend to defy the laws of the universe and get married anyway, and we’re now scratching our heads to figure out where, and when, and how.

In the meanwhile, since I caused this disaster in the first place, I think I can present a few ideas of what to do while you’re in quarantine. Stay tuned.

Behold the Legendary White Fungus and Bird Nest Beverage

So, anyway, whenever we need to run errands in the nearest large city, my fiancée insists at shopping at the Chinese market in order to find food items from a little closer to her homeland.

While we were there, I happened to notice this fantastic product and insisted on grabbing two cans.

Wonderfarm Bird's Nest

To explain, I first learned of the existence of this beverage when I was working on Jake and the Dynamo. In one scene, Pizza Margherita offers juice boxes to a group of magical girls, and I thought it would be funny if the flavors were mostly exotic ones that would generally offend American tastes, so I went hunting on the internet for weirdly flavored beverages, compiled a list, and applied them to Margherita’s juice-box variety pack.

The one that most stuck in my memory was this thing right here, Wonderfarm Bird’s Nest White Fungus. This drink from China is made with mostly water, white fungus, and sugar, with only a tiny bit of bird’s nest.

Bird's Nest Ingredients

The “bird’s nest” in question is that of a cave-dwelling swiftlet, which makes its nest from solidified saliva (no more gross than honey, if you think about it). This is a delicacy in China, usually served in soup, but it appears that only a tiny amount is featured in this drink. White fungus, on the other hand, is a mushroom-like growth used in a lot of Chinese dishes and is comparatively inexpensive.

I was thrilled to find this beverage, which had already inspired a passage in my first published book, so I insisted on trying it and making the magical girl try it as well.

You will be unsurprised to learn it’s not very good. It is something like slimy sugar water, or maybe like sweet snot. Tasting like thin syrup, it has large chunks of the white fungus in it. I wouldn’t personally recognize bird’s nest anyway, but I suspect its presence is mostly undetectable.

I can’t say I was disappointed because my experience matches what I’d already read about this beverage. I’m still glad to have had the chance to try it, and I am surprised to see it shipped to one of the places we buy groceries.

‘Made in Abyss: Dawn of the Deep Soul’ Coming to America

The movie Dawn of the Deep Soul, which continues the story of the acclaimed Made in Abyss anime, which I have reviewed, is slated for an American release at Anime Boston on April 11, according to Crunchyroll. After that, the film will see (presumably limited) theatrical distribution.

Personally, I’m not sure if I should be thrilled or disappointed. Rumors have swirled around for a while about a sequel to Made in Abyss, and one was announced at a talk show some years back, followed by speculations on a 2019 release date.

2019 is obviously behind us, but with the upcoming movie set to continue the story where season 1 ended, it is no longer clear if there will be a season 2 at all.

Comic Book/Movie Review: ‘The Crow’

A rare instance in which the film is (arguably) superior to the book.

The Crow by J. O’Barr. Kitchen Sink Press, 1994. $15.95. ISBN 0-87816-221-6.

The Crow, written by David A. Schow. Directed by Alex Proyas. Starring Brandon Lee, Rochelle Davis, and Ernie Hudson. Lionsgate, 1994. 102 minutes. Rated R.

Recently, I serendipitous stumbled upon a copy of the graphic novel collecting the original series of The Crow, and immediately devoured it. I then followed it up with the film adaptation, which I had not previously seen.

The comic, which began as a short tale but turned into a long-running series, reads like a primal scream. Overwrought, pretentious, and sometimes sloppy, it is the brainchild of one James O’Barr, who created it as a means of dealing with a personal tragedy—the exact nature of which I have not learned and assume is none of my business. Although decidedly undisciplined as art of either the visual or storytelling variety, it is emotionally raw, so it is no surprise that it struck a chord with many readers and found a devoted fan following.

The interest in the graphic novel was enough to lead, in 1994, to a film adaptation. The movie takes a lot of liberty with its source material, turning O’Barr’s visceral cry of pain into a structured story with more character development, higher stakes, and a markedly different tone. Although well received by critics (and I can say it holds up over time), it is a cult classic in large part because of its star: Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee, took the titular role as the bird-themed goth-punk antihero but—with only eight days left to the production—died during filming from an improperly cleaned gun. His performance, though lacking the gravitas the role requires, has charisma and suggests a talent that might have developed had his life not been cut short.

Given this morbidly poetic on-set tragedy, to criticize the movie harshly almost seems sacrilegious.

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